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What your kiss says

When it comes to kissing, Dr Gordon Gallup of the University of Albany, New York, is spot on. Last week, his research into the importance of a first kiss was published and the findings were very interesting.

According to his research, for most women, the first kiss is often the deal breaker whereas to men, a kiss is just a kiss. Men, predictably, are usually up for sex regardless of the quality of the kiss, but women are less likely to sleep with a man who doesn’t kiss nicely.

Well guys, that should get your attention. Sex aside, I speak for pretty much every girl I’ve ever known when I say that bad kissing will get you nowhere faster than you think.

A kiss is not just a kiss. It tells us a good deal of what we need to know about you.

Last week, a group of us went out with my friend Joel who was visiting from New York. I rekindled a connection with Oliver, who I’d met before and who, I found out later, had fancied me. He was fit and seemed as bright as I remembered.

But as the night progressed I began to find him a bit self-obsessed. It was all about him, his views, his opinion of me and what he wants in a relationship. Still I wasn’t willing to give up, I would wait until he kissed me. A bad kiss and he was out. A good kiss, though, and I’d definitely be up for more. But like his chat, the kiss was self-obsessed, insensitive and unappealing. It was all about him – his tongue, his slobber, his desire. I was a mouth, nothing more, and after a while, I pushed him away, made my excuses and left.

There are just some times when the guy is so perfect, and you desperately want his kiss to live up to first impressions, but alas – all you get is slobbering dog tongue.

Last weekend, a friend of mine met someone. Noah was charming, interesting and incredibly keen. They went for a romantic date – swimming in a gorgeous lake in Hampshire and a picnic on its banks.

She wanted to like him, she really did. But after a minute of kissing, her face was dripping in spit. She hoped he’d improve, but he didn’t. She knows she can’t go out with someone who thinks kissing is about mutual face-cleaning, and so she, too, made her excuses.

She could have spelled out what was wrong, but experience tells me that those kind of comments kill the mood as much as a bad kiss. Which means, boys, pay attention when a girl gives you hints. If she lurches away just as your tongue starts doing a deep-sea probe, try something else. Because the only redemption for a bad kiss, no matter how great you are, is learning fast how to do it properly.

by The London Paper

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